Top 10 Exercises
They say it takes seven falls to make a rider. But there's a lot more to it than that. Check out this humorous list of 10 simple exercises that will help you become a better equestrian. 10. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Don't pick it up right away. Shout, "Get off, Stupid, GET OFF!" 9. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "relaxing into the fall." Roll lithely into a ball and spring to your feet. 8. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse and write out a $200 check without even looking down. 7. Jog long distances carrying a halter and a carrot. Go ahead and tell the neighbors what you are doing - they might as well know now. 6. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling to a halt. Smile as if you are having fun. 5. Hone your fibbing skills: "See hon, moving hay bales is FUN!" and "No, really, I'm glad your lucky performance and multimillion dollar horse won the blue ribbon. I am just thankful that my hard work and actual ability won me second place." 3. Borrow the US Army's slogan: Be All That You Can Be -- bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled, frozen... 2. Lie face down in a puddle of mud in your most expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself, "This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience, this is ..." 1. THE NUMBER ONE EXERCISE TO BECOME A BETTER EQUESTRIAN: Marry money.